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THEN WHAT IS TRUE MASCULINITY? "Only that which comes out unaffected from fire is pure gold" ~ an old saying Real or natural masculinity is a feeling or sense of being male, as distinct from a sense or feeling of being female, irrespective of one's outer sex. A person can be a male, yet naturally feel that he is predominantly a female. Femininity can be understood as a feeling or sense of being a female, irrespective of one's outer sex. Of course some women feel predominantly masculine. All men have some feelings of femininity and all women have some feelings of masculinity. Masculinity is about feeling like a man, being full of masculine energy, wanting to bond with men, wanting to relate with other men, wanting to celebrate one's maleness. It is also a feeling of appreciation of masculinity in others. Our true masculinity is represented by our deepest inner feelings, needs and desires and our inner strength. Unfortunately, we have suppressed them deep down within ourselves, under pressure from social masculinity roles. As a result, we have lost connection with our true masculinity. Now we cannot reach our natural masculinity, not unless we know how to. Whenever we interfere with nature ----- whether outside of us or within us ----- the outcome is always harmful. In return for this loss of natural masculinity, the society gives us social masculinity. Social masculinity is a masculinity which is not real or natural, and is dependent upon fulfilling social expectations even if they are unreasonable/unnatural. Since our real masculinity is gone, we are now dependent on social masculinity. Real masculinity does not need to be proved. Real masculinity is just there. Society may not sometimes acknowledge that masculinity in order to force a man to comply. But if a man is confident and firm, society will eventually acknowledge it. The essence or seed of natural masculinity is given by nature. But it needs to be cultivated and developed. The only way to do this is by celebrating masculinity. Otherwise it remains dormant. The only way to celebrate masculinity is by relating with and bonding with other men. When men unite, the inherent masculinity becomes active. When we bond and relate with other men, we benefit from the collective masculinity thus generated. It is a tremendous power. In spite of an extreme reward and punishment mechanism of society to control and oppress men, those who are true men have stood their ground and not bowed before unreasonable gender and sexual roles. They had to give up enormous powers that they could easily have taken. They have withstood extreme punishments as a result of disobedience. But such men always finally win back their honour and social power. It is said that, only that which comes out unaffected from fire is pure gold. This is what true masculinity is all about. A namard is by definition an anti-man. He is a male biologically but is anti-man either by temperament or more likely by conditioning. He behaves in unmanly fashion, i.e. in ways that harms men, as individuals or as a group. Anybody who calls himself a man but behaves in a way that is detrimental to the larger interests of men, or is hostile or disrespectful of men, is a namard. A namard has no understanding or appreciation of other men. He lacks the capacity to bond with men at a deeper level or to empathise with them. A namard lacks the ability to relate with men, to understand their fears, pains and issues. He lacks the ability to appreciate masculinity in others. And he lacks the ability to celebrate his own masculinity. The biggest namard is the person who defends social masculinity roles because he derives social power out of it. He is truly a lesser man and he realises that he cannot compete with other men on a level playing field, i.e. on the basis of natural masculinity, because he lacks it. A namard is totally dependent on social masculinity for his manhood. You will find this person critical of other men on the basis of sexual masculinity roles. This person has no respect for himself, leave alone others. Ironically, you will find this true namard calling others namard. But the more common kind of namards are those who bend over backwards to fit into social masculinity roles ----- in order to avoid its harsh punishments or to avail of its immense benefits. Those who suppress their own true needs and nature in order to please vain social mechanisms. They may not defend these roles but they don't oppose it either. They lack the courage that real manhood requires --- to fight social oppression and injustice. Unfortunately, this kind of namard includes most of us, because most of us readily give in to oppressive roles without questioning them.
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